Here is where we left off, boys and girls...when you last heard from me, I was tied to the railroad tracks and DW DooRight was staring down the train and....OK..I made that up..As my grandson, Lane would say, "I wuz just teasing"!
Summary:
DW and I are going camping.
DW is not happy about going camping.
We have spent a lot of $$$ before we are even 30 miles from home.
There are Bud products in the closet of the motor home.
I always take off my flip flops in the car/truck/motor home.
From the last blog:
I kicked my flip flops off and prepared for the ride..I checked in with our friends Mark and Brenda (the fools who invited us on this fairy tale trip) and let them know we were finally on our way. And then the misadventures continued when DW said.."Do you smell smoke?"...
Smoke??? He is asking me if I smelled smoke??? Not only did I SMELL smoke, but my poor feet felt like they were on FIRE because the floorboard had suddenly turned into an inferno. I was in camping hell, and I hadn't even had the chance to visit the closet.
But, I am wise! I KNOW that if this camping mission fails, that I will never get DW to leave my sister wives (farm, cows, work at Budweiser) again. So, I decided to "spin" it. So when he asked me if I smelled smoke, I looked at him quite innocently (his words) and said, "No")...THANK GOD he did not notice that I was trying to pick my feet up out of the floorboard at the same time.
DW turned all male on me and wouldn't let the whole "smelling smoke thing" drop. He just kept on with it. By this time, I was kind of worried and was actually looking out the mirror and trying to sniff discretely. Damn him, he was NOT going to let the we're-on-fire thing drop and I was going to be screwed out of another vacation. Not because of his work, not because of the hayfield, not because of a sick cow/calf-but because the stupid borrowed motor home was ON FIRE!!!
We were actually at the last Waynesville exit on I-44 when he looked at me and said.."if we don't turn around now, and this thing burns, it will be bad..do you want to go on???" I of course, batted my eyes and said my classic line.."I don't smell anything"..AND being a true Pollyanna, I told him.."IF we were on fire going down an INTERSTATE, cars would be honking"! (and I kind of said it with a middle school girl tone, like he was a dumb ass) ....Hmmmph...top that, sucker!
I am pretty sure he turned into a middle schooler and rolled his eyes at me and then he "showed" me when he put his foot on the gas (oh, did I mention this beast went from 0 to 60 in 7 miles?), and we soared! And as God is my witness, we stopped smelling smoke. And pretty soon I could put my feet in the floor board without needing a skin graft or aloe vera. Eventually we arrived at our destination.
Late, as always. They were waiting on us, because, OH, BTW, I was bringing the fixings for jambalaya that night..but we were there and nothing had burned. And, I had somewhat stayed out of the closet.
Soooo....finally..why this FB pic reminded me of our trip..
We had finally pulled into our camping spot in our fine motor home and we were trying to get situated, one of the happy campers made the fatal mistake of asking DW..."What was your name again?" And apparently, DW had a Lori Beth Ethridge Hicks moment and said, "Clark Fucking Griswold, and we are on a fucking vacation"...
The "thud" people heard then was me in the supply closet. Sometimes it is OK to be a sister wife!
THE END
Stay tuned for the next year when the Hicks/Griswold's go "on vacation"..and this time it involves a TENT!!
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